Phobophobia

Phobophobia- an abnormal fear of developing a phobia; anxiety about showing symptoms of a phobia. 

I'm afraid to show others my fears. 

Especially to those who look to me to not be afraid.

Truth is I'm scared. 

 

I'm scared to dream. 

So much darkness and too much confusion for comfort.

I fear that one day my nightmares will become a reality.

I used to wish I'd dream of you,

But lately you've been in my nightmares.

I'm not saying you're a nightmare, but you frighten me.

Maybe because I'm controlled by my fear of one day losing you.

I'm afraid of addiction.

There are far too many people in my family who have falling victim to this "disease."

I dont want to get too close to this contangious form of torture.

So I keep my distance. 

I listen in on the conversations that always end in my grandma crying.

Take me back to the days where i didnt know what drugs are or the fact that you can so easily become a slave to them.

Take me back to when all fears were irrational and when my mom would tell me that none of this was real.

But now when i tell my mother my fears she shrugs and says "thats life"

I'm afraid of growing up

Slow it down

(Listen to Slow it down by the Lumineers)

All I want is your time.

I miss you.

I know I still see you often, but its not the same.

Your multi-tasking is a curse yet a blessing at the same time.

Slow it down.

Can we please sit down and not worrying about the time?

Lets drop our phones and be with each other.

Lately the best way to talk to you is over the phone. 

Why is that?

Slow it down.

Give me your time before mine runs out.

How to blog

• Create a blog

• Be alone

• Listen to depressing music

• Steal from others

• Be different

• Yes I know, the two contradict each other

• Watch a movie

• Be different

• Write about love

• Pimp your blog

• Be a girl

• But if you're a guy then don't

• Act like you don't care if people like your blog, but really you stress over what others think

• Be different

The world is insane

10 reasons why I can't sleep at night

1. Thinking about eternity
2. YouTube
3. When its cold outside but hot inside so I open the window in my room but but then its so cold inside that I need to wear a hoodie to fall asleep but then I wake up in a sweat because I'm too hot
4. College football
5. I get hungry
6. Sometimes when we're texting at night and you take forever to respond and I don't know if you fell asleep or not but I don't want to assume you're asleep because I still want to talk to you so I stay up waiting for a text that never comes
7. Reading blogs
8. Vine
9. Worrying about my future
10. I worry about my future twice as much now that I'm expected to make all these big decisions but I'm only 17

Don't do drugs

Don't do drugs